Vision

I’m pushing this whole thing further and further down the back burner. But I’m not quite sure I’m doing the right thing by procrastinating so much. It’s not that I’m particularly lazy. It’s that I’m worried about the fallout. Granted, by waiting I’m just making things worse, I know.

But I’m a coward. Too afraid to just get things over with. Even though I know it is a stupid thing for me to do.

The voices echo in my head. A dull reverberation that I can hear, but I can’t make out. Currently, I lay down with my eyes open. I’m laying down on my back, looking up at whatever is above me without really seeing what it was. If there was even anything but the sky. I don’t know where I am. I can’t see anything anymore.

Ha. I say that as if I could ever see anything but myself and my own ego in the first place. As if I didn’t see only what I wanted to and not anything else.

Still, I can hear the screaming at least. Feel the anger and the righteous indignation and the hatred in the air. I can feel and hear all this, even while blinded by my own hubris.

That’s what I get for it, though. My vision was never that important ion the first place. I never really used my eyes to see.

This is what I get.

This is what I deserve.