It’s the end of the road. The end of the line of this so-called “adventure”. I’m so tired. There’s been so much I’ve had to do. So much that I’ve lost along the way. But, in order for everything to go back to the way it was, I have to do this. I don’t want to. I don’t want to die.
But I also don’t want to live. I’ve lost so much. I’ve seen so much. I’ve done so much.
Ask anyone, and they’d tell you it was all for the greater good. That I did what I had to. But the things that I’ve seen… The places I’ve gone to… I used to be full of piss and vinegar. I used to want to go out and be a Hero.
But I didn’t know it would be like this. I didn’t know the world would be like this. I didn’t know. I just didn’t know. I thought it would be like the books I had read as a kid. But the books I had read- even the ones meant for adults -were nothing like this. They were either sterilized or glamorized the world we live in.
Even as I stare down the “villain” from the story, the adventure that I had always wanted, I couldn’t help but think about how right they were. How they were telling the truth. Even as I also thought they were going about it the wrong way. Even now, I think they’re wrong about what to do about all of it.
They think the world needs to be helped, maybe even purged. But I disagree. The future they claim they saw, the one they’re supposedly trying to prevent is not one I’m rather fond of, myself. But that’s why I’m doing this. Going up against them. Facing my nemesis that I can easily admit that I relate to. Because they’re wrong.
If I’m honest, I think my mindset is wrong, too. But that’s how things go. Opposing ideologies and thoughts and hearts and minds, as it were.
The future is inevitable. You might be able to change it, but there’s a way to go about it. And that way, whether anybody likes it or not, whether I like it or not, includes the passage of time. A lot of time.
I’m tired. I’m so tired. I want this to end. I want everything to end. Even if I die after the battle, as long as I defeat my nemesis, I know things will go on. As they should. The inevitability of the situation, of the future, is one I don’t like. But it’s not for any one person to decide. No matter the intentions. Good or bad or somewhere in between.
I raise my sword; I point it at my nemesis, and I say the first words after they beg me to help them. After they beg me to think about what will happen if I do this. I say the first words after a long silence and I say this:
“For the future.”
My second to last words before we die. Together. Not happy. Not content. But still secure in the knowledge that we tried. That we both tried.
And so, we lay there, curled up and smiling at each other with tears in our eyes, and we say our last words. Together:
“I love you.”
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